Here goes my first night without my roommate :(
7 hours ago my Bri packed up her things and left me. I hate being in this big room all by myself. It’s so lonely and bare in here. No more Justin Bieber, One Direction or Tom Brady pictures :( Anyways, I’m kind of in a writing mood and I don’t want to study for my Spanish final, so allow me to share my recap of the year.
The end is not near, it’s here. I have dreaded writing this but now marks the prime time of feeling nostalgic. The year started off rocky with hardships to say the least. I remember the drive down here, the car loaded with 18 years of the only world I’ve ever known, my parents right by my side. That separation, boy I tell you, was the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through. A big part of my struggle first semester was probably contingent upon the fact that I spent my 18th birthday alone. Crying on your birthday because you weren’t with your family? That’s not what the movies tell you. I strongly believe that the loneliness from that day set the foundation for the rest of the semester. Of course, I was blessed enough to meet new people but how can bonds strengthen if I was going home every other weekend? Things couldn’t get possibly worse? Think again. My roommate unfortunately decided she wasn’t returning in the spring. Questioning the Lord’s motives is something I will never do, but I found myself in the position of constantly crying, praying for answers— responses that would tell me why this was my reality. As the nighttime passed, the morning dew brought me to another day to which my soul could last in this place.
I was broken and I was crawling. My tears were falling down like rivers. When my world was folding, God, you saw my prayers flowing out like rivers to your heart. Over winter break, I was able to instill in myself belief in the spring semester. You know, hope that the Lord will take care of me, that everything will be okay. And if I was lucky, for a long shot, maybe everything would be better.
January comes along and oh, this is the start of something good. I meet my new roommate and I am in awe. Not a moment of awkwardness and the night full of laughter. We stayed up till 3am that first night, I swear I told her my life story and she confided in me as if she’s known me for years. This semester also brought change within my suite itself. With 3 new girls, all of us started using our living room, going out together, just being in the company of one another. In every group of friends I established last semester, whether it was my suitemates, T7, or my Real-Life youth group and Bible Study girls, I have grown with the wonderful beings in each. I haven’t felt like this in so many moons. I was finally happy. I didn’t want to go home anymore :) That belief is what made things real, what made things feel more than alright. I have found this place to be special, and that in itself is something special.
College is truly this wonderful opportunity and I am so blessed to not only be living it, but to be able to say I love every second of it. Now I face another struggle, the struggle of loving it so much that I may now be attached to it. I don’t want to leave, I don’t want to leave, please don’t make me leave. The door to this chapter of living in these dorms is slowly closing and in 2 days it will lie as a memory. I wouldn’t trade my experience for the world.
One final contemplation –Suite 240, thank you. I can’t bring myself to know that we won’t be within 20 steps of each other. Though the The OC marathon nights, 11pm Yogurtland trips & people watching rituals were amazing, it was the Thursday nights that have turned into Friday mornings that made me fall in love with you. You girls have made me laugh until I cried and living with each one of you has been the greatest thing in the world. I’ll miss it.
This one night Jacob spent the night at SDSU…
The biggest and most incredibly sincere thank you to T7 & my suitemates for giving him a great state experience ;) Love you guys and all your craziness, so much.
Happy Birthday Rach!
Today is my endearing, quirky, and out-of-this-world wonderful suitemate’s birthday! May 2nd is the day I went from a world without Rachel Steele to a world WITH Rachel Steele. Yay!!
Kept these pictures of her to myself so I could giggle whenever I pleased….but for this special day I will share them with the virtual world ;) Love you so so so SO much.
